Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I would fuck him just for his dog
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
