So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
