i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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