i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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