I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
