I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
