its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
