I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
