There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
