Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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