Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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