I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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