i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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