She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
