If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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