woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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