I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
