I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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