Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
