pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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