The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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