So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
