I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm too high and old for this...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
