Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
