Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize