talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
