no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish they made helmets for livers.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
