Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
