How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
