Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
