sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
