since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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