she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
