we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
