you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
