Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
