She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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