Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
