If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
