Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Acid is not a monday night drug
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
