you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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