Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
