Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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