I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
