We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
