so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
