remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
