I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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