I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So vagazzling was a success
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