He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
