Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
