I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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